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Posts tagged ‘transgender’

Feb 2

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SNL contribues to trans-phobia with ‘Estro-Maxx’ parody

Yes, I know its comedy, but NBC’s Saturday Night Live TV show aired a ‘commercial’ for feminizing hormones who’s sole comedic purpose was to laugh at trans women during their transition.  I think it send the message that its OK to laugh at transsexuals and contributes to trans-phobia.

Trans-phobia and any phobia is no small matter.  It creates an ubiquitous message that its OK to make fun of gender variant people.  It leads to shame, hiding, fear and anxiety.

Thoughts?

Jan 9

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A new children’s book: “Be Who You Are”

Jennifer Carr has made an important contribution to children’s literature in her 2010 offering “Be Who You Are” (Author House, Bloomington, IN).  In this 32 page, colorfully illustrated (by Ben Rumback) book, Carr shows the challenges of a gender variant child “Nick” as he transforms into “Hope”.

Hope’s parents are unwavering in their support and help her as she negotiates run-in’s with a teacher and disappointment with school.  Other issues raised are connecting with a therapist, finding community with other families with gender variant children, dealing with a younger brother’s coming to terms with her, correcting pronouns and self acceptance.  Certain milestones such as wearing a dress out to a park and picking a new name are lovingly celebrated.

This book, which can be read to or with a transgender child, performs an invaluable function – it legitimizes and normalizes the child’s experience.  In addition it gives clues and direction to the young child on how to cope with difficult situations, such as:

“…whenever she felt sad or worried she talked with her parents”

and

“…when someone made a mistake and called her by the wrong name, she politely said ‘Please call me Hope.   It means a lot to me’ ”.

In short it is a book written for the transgender child not just about a child who is transgender.  Kudos to Carr (who runs an excellent blog here) and was inspired by her own child for writing this book.   

 

(For more information on books for Transgender children see the bibliography complied by Nancy Silverrod of the San Francisco Public Library here )

Nov 20

6 Comments

The Need for Post Transition Support (Part 2)

A follow up to the Mike Penner/Christine Daniels saga.

The LA Times posted a long follow up article on the suicide of Mike Penner/Christine Daniels, the late LA Times sportswriter who transitioned on the job (and which I wrote about in a previous post)

A few things stand out as contributing to the suicide:

  • A very painful separation and divorce from her wife.  Complicating matters was the fact that they worked in the same office and wife expressed her wish to avoid all contact with Christine. (I’m certainly not blaming the wife for contributing to the suicide; I’m just saying that the separation and circumstances were painful for Christine.)  There was also the loss of the wife’s family, who Penner was close to.
  • Being a public figure, she got some harsh (and ignorant) public criticism of her ability to “pass”, which was hard on Christine.
  • Christine being thrust into and accepting the role of spokesperson for transgender issues when she probably wasn’t ready or personally strong enough to deal with the media scrutiny.  Then having disagreements with trans activists who objected to Daniel’s emphasis on appearance in her blog.
  • Daniels withdrew from friends, church and public appearances.
  • Daniels’s mother died.
  • Daniel’s focused on her transitioning as the root of all her problems and tried to de-transition in hopes of reuniting with his wife.

What are the lessons that can be gleaned from this?

  • There is a great need for support during and after transition.  Don’t underestimate the need for supportive people and institutions.  Including friends, family, support groups, therapy, religious institutions, knitting circles, etc…  Its like drinking water in the desert – you have to do it even if you’re not feeling thirsty – if you feel thirsty its too late – you’re already dehydrated.
  • Withdrawing is not the answer.  It will only make things worse.
  • Very often when people find themselves a part of a new group they feel they have to be a spokesperson/activist/possess complete knowledge of said group.   That’s great if you want to do that, but it should be a conscious choice and not an obligation.

Find out about Psychotherapy when dealing with Gender variance in yourself or someone close to you.


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