Confusion around changing sexual orientation for trans people
I’ve been working on an article (hence the lack of posts lately) and midway through I went on a little tangent (OK, it was a rant) about this issue of confusion around changing sexual orientation for trans people, so I thought I would excerpt it here:
There is a commonly heard idea in the transgender literature and community asserting that the transgendered individual will sometimes change sexual orientation after transitioning. I have found that many patients come in with this belief. Arlene Istar Lev (2004), a family therapist, clinical social worker and gender expert notes that “gender transition can have a tremendous impact on sexual orientation, sometimes affecting one’s sexual interests…” and in the next paragraph “Sexual orientation is not malleable and cannot be changed through force or will” (p. 301). There seems to be a good deal of confusion and disagreement on the topic in the transgender community.
Putting aside for a moment the fact that transitioning is a long process with no particular end point (where a change in sexual orientation could be assessed) and can often mean different things to different people and that most transsexuals do not have surgeries; perhaps what is really happening in these cases is that individuals are choosing partners more for the complex array of factors that help the individual feel confirmed in their authentically felt gender rather than for their desirability based on their maleness or femaleness.
Just thinking about this logically for a minute one sees that claims of so called “reparative therapies” on non-trans homosexuals have been thoroughly debunked over the past few decades (for summaries see Haldeman, 1994; Drescher, 1998 and Bright 2004). What bit of alchemy would then achieve this momentous transformation on the transsexual? Hormone replacement therapy? By this same logic, scores of menopausal lesbians taking feminizing hormones would have suddenly switched to becoming attracted to men.
A 1998 research paper titled “Changes in the Sexual Orientation of Six Heterosexual Male-to-Female Transsexuals” by Christopher Daskalos of the Department of Sociology, Arizona State University asserts that
“These respondents stated that before transitioning they had been sexually orientated towards females. After transitioning, these same respondents reported that they were sexually orientated towards males. Five of the six respondents reported having various sexual encounters with males since transitioning. The respondents explained the changes in their sexual orientation as part of their emerging female gender identities. Three of the respondents claimed that the use of female hormones played a role in changing their sexual orientation” (from the abstract p. 605).”
The paper was challenged in the same journal in a letter to the editor by Anne A. Lawrence (an arguably controversial figure in her own right due to her advocating the concept of ‘autogynephilia’) who noted that “Daskalos purports to document dramatic changes in the sexual orientation of six of his transsexual informants – changes that seem to have occurred almost effortlessly. However, a careful reading of Daskalos’ paper reveals that he has demonstrated no such thing” (p. 581). Her reasons include that sexual behavior is not the same as sexual orientation, that (a somewhat dated idea) “Sometimes such self-reports may be conscious deceptions, designed to increase the likelihood that the transsexual will qualify for sex reassignment surgery” and that “In other cases, such self-reports by transsexuals may reflect the autogynephilic fantasy of sex with a male partner” (p. 581).
However none of these refutations shed light on the reasons behind changes in behavior. I believe Dozier’s (2005) comments from her cohort of 18 trans men to be most in keeping with what I have seen with trans people in my practice:
“Respondents also challenge traditional notions of sexual orientation by focusing less on the sex of the partner and more on the gender organization of the relationship. The relationship’s ability to validate the interviewee’s masculinity or maleness often takes precedence over the sex of the partner, helping to explain changing sexual orientation as female-to-male transsexual and transgendered people transition into men (2005, p. 297).”
I’m interested in hearing your thoughts.
References:
Bright, C. (2004). Deconstructing Reparative Therapy: An Examination of the Processes Invovled When Attempting to Change Sexual Orientation. In Clinical Social Work Journal, Vol. 32, No. 4, Winter 2004 (_ 2004)
Daskalos, C. (1998). Changes in the Sexual Orientation of Six Heterosexual Male-to-Female Transsexuals. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 27, No. 6, 1998
Dozier, R. (2005) Beards, Breasts, and Bodies: Doing Sex in a Gendered World. In Gender & Society, Vol. 19 No. 3, June 2005. 297-316
Drescher, J. (1998). I’m Your Handyman: A History of Reparative Therapies in Journal of Homosexuality,Vol. 36(1) 1998
Haldeman, D.C. (1994) The Practice and Ethics of Sexual Orientation Conversion Therapy. In Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 62, No. 2, 221-227
Lawrence, A. (1999) Letter to the Editor. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Vol. 28, No. 6, 1999
Lev, A. (2004). Transgender Emergence. Binghamton, NY: HaworthPress.
Find out about Psychotherapy when dealing with Gender variance in yourself or someone close to you.
This seems to be a puzzling idea related to transgender individuals. I am a transsexual woman who now almost exclusive consider men for a relationship and not very often women. This is opposite of my behavior when I was married, including a short 2 year marriage when I was in my early twenties. Why did this happen? I don’t think it is because my sexual orientation has changed. Like many transsexual women I have always been bisexual as have many other transsexual women. Much higher incidence than the general population. It bewilders me why bisexuality is never mentioned as a sexual orientation. Whenever a outward appearing “heterosexual person” has a relationship with the same sex they’re considered to be gay/lesbian and NOT bisexual. How many times has it been revealed that a married person, such as a politician, been outed for being a homosexual? Has it ever been revealed that a person has been bisexual? I would think that a married person who has a relationship with a person of the same sex might be bisexual?
So back to the puzzle about the change of sexual orientation in transgender individuals. My sexual orientation has not changed. I am still bisexual although my behavior has been almost exclusively oriented to men for the last 15 years. Why do I say that I am bisexual? Because I have been equally attracted to both sexes, both physically and emotionally. I have been in love with both men and women during my lifetime.
I think this is very common in the transgender community and should be considered as a major reason for explaining their so called change in sexual orientation. What do you think?
Thanx Jaz, I think you make an excellent point of people forgetting about the possibility of bisexuality and of the possibility of there being somewhat equal desire for male or female partners… I doubt very much there have been any studies on the prevalence of this, but I’m glad you spoke up to be counted!
A question – why do you find that you focus on male partners for the last 15 years?
Actually I’m writing a paper now discussing a trans woman’s transition through the lens of queer theory, so all this is very much on my mind. (I think they would reject all labeling & just focus on the performance & doing aspects, but that’s a subject for another post).
Why male partners? LIving as a woman as I do, it is just much easier to date men instead of women. That said, I would never date a guy if I was not sexually attracted to him. If I wasn’t sexually attracted to men, then I won’t date them even if the relationship provided me with validation of my femaleness and other “perks”. Another reason that many transsexual women (like me) seldom date women is because there are very few women who are interested in dating us. Here is what you do. Go to an online dating site which has a transgender category. Search for women who want to meet transgender women and see how many matches you find. You will not find many, and more likely none.
Back to the bisexuality issue. You say there has been no studies about bisexuality and transgender individuals. I’ve read more than once in the literature that bisexuality is much much higher in the transgender community.
A very interesting blog; thank you for sharing.
Part of the difficulty I see here is trying to apply labels where they don’t fit. I identify as heterosexual. Pre-transition (mtf) I was exclusively attracted to females; post transition exclusively males. This switch did surprise. I dated a guy for the first time as an experiment and was shocked and amused when it just felt right.
To the outside world it looks as if my orientation changed. Internally I feel completely congruent. The limitation is the terminology that only reflects behaviors of the birth gender stable population.
A few thoughts about “confusion of sexual orientation” just to make it more confusing! How would you explain the following?
1. Transmen very seldom change sexual orientation. Almost all are attracted to women before and after transition.
2. The majority of transwomen come from the heterosexual community while transmen come from the lesbian community.
3. A person leaves a heterosexual relationship (ex. married with children) and becomes homosexual. The common explanation is that these people did not change their sexual orientation, but were always gay.
4. Transsexual women who are “more passable as women” are more likely to change their sexual orientation then other transsexual women (my observation). Following your explanation, logic would dictate that these women would be less likely to need to “feel confirmed in their authentically felt gender” by their partner (more confirmation outside of their relationship) and would be less likely to change sexual orientation. Does the degree of passibility (if it is a word) influence whether a transwoman changes her sexual orientation? I’ve noticed that transwomen who are attracted to women before and after transition are less likely to change to a more feminine voice. My explanation of this is that by keeping a more masculine voice they are more likely to attract a heterosexual female.
5. What happens to the sexual orientation of transwomen who transition back to a man. Do some of these people change their sexual orientation too?
I wonder, what does anyone have to say, or to offer from research, for someone who has multiple gender identities…especially without DID? If someone is biologically female, but mentally both male and female, and is attracted to men…how do you classify their sexual orientation? Likewise, for someone who is biologically male, but identifies as both male and female? And further, how do you define the orientation of someone who identifies as truly hermaphroditic, or as asexual/androgynous?
Food for thought.
The usual practice in talking about the sexual orientation of trans folk is to describe it from the point of view of current presentation (or the presentation, i.e. gender expression at the time you are talking about). So a male to female individual who is attracted to women would have a ‘lesbian’ sexual orientation. Having said that, labels are not always necessary and people can choose their own… but I’d guess from what you’re describing “gender fluid” or “gender queer” and “bisexual” might be used.
I am a FtM Transsexual Male coming to my final lower surgery in July. In my previous role I was married had children and for a time labelled myself as bi sexual because of this. I knew at a young age that my true preference was women but being Catholic forget that! I also new from age 8 I was a boy and that I had the wrong body. In my 30′s I came out as a butch lesbian still not able deal with my inner male. I had a long term relatioship of 7 years with a woman confirming what I knew already. I started transitioning December 2008 and I am in a 2.5 year relationship with a woman. I see myself as hetrosexual which I guess I have always been but now I can truely be myself….Felix